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La Frog

15 augusti, 2011

35,1

Please Help Me!!!

I checked my weight again. Stupid thing to do... I just get so depressed. But it's getting worse. I now weigh 98kg and that is just to close to a three set number for my taste. With my hight (1,67m) that equals a BMI on 35,1. Obese. I am obese. I'm having trouble tying my shoes, I can't wear pants without an elastic waist, I look pregnant with triplets in a dress.... and I hate it. I hate myself. I hate myself for being so damn weak. I know what I need to do - workout more, eat healthier and on a regular basis, and sleep when I'm supposed to and stay awake and active when I'm supposed to. But do I do it? No! Instead I sleep when I'm tired or bored, do what I feel like - like reading and watching TV - when I'm awake. I eat very sporadically and sometimes forgets to eat at all. I drink a lot of CocaCola Zero - at least 50cl a day. And workout? Well, I do take the bike to the library at times. And there is the dancing - although it haven't been dancing to much lately. There is also that little problem of my former eating disorder. I easily fall back in to that old pattern. I don't  want any food at all when I feel fat... 
So I have come to the conclusion that I need help. And since I'm not so good at the whole determined and disciplined self I don't think a gastric bypass is such a good idea for me. So I'm asking for help. Does anyone out there know how I can get help? Someone determined and with a whip preferably I guess...
Please - PLEASE - help me!!!

05 augusti, 2011

homestyling


I’m trying to fix this place we’re living in. I have so many plans! And so little money… I would love to repaint the living room. This white wallpaper with blue mini-flower-ornaments is just horrible! It would look better in a country side kitchen. I kind of like the idea of a country side kitchen – the French romantic style anyway. I want that in our kitchen, mixed with a little oriental spicy touch. Fix the floor with a wooden klick-on , repaint the cabinets (away with the dirty gray color), put up a shelf and repaint the ones that’s already up so they all match in some way. Get rid of that stupid socket that’s in the way for a proper place for the dishwasher. And I want to buy some cute glass jars in variant sizes for spices, beans and stuff like that.
In the hallway we are in big need of shoe cabinet. We’ve found on in IKEA that fits by our small wall. It isn’t the most expensive one they have – in fact it’s one of the cheaper ones – but it still costs about 500:-. Otherwise the hallway is pretty much like we want it. That of course is if we just can get all the stuff that’s not suppose to be there at all away to some other place.
The bedroom is also almost as we want it. It’s our wallpaper in purple, and all the furniture is white. Little details like the frames and the knobs on the wardrobes are in gold. But it is in need of a TV on the wall. And we have these wall candle holders that need to be put up on the wall.
In the music/ dance room there is a lot more to be done! The ideal is to have a wall of mirrors and a lot of space. But the office table is in there and a lot of shelves and a chest of drawers… And of course all of Jonas instruments… So for that room we need to clear and throw away, away, away!
And so we’re back to the living room. Other from new wallpaper I can’t really tell what we need to do in there. We need more space! Ore moor walls… the 5 of them we already have in here don’t seem to be enough.  
The dilemma is that I want to move. Another apartment - another neighborhood. But that seems to be in a far away future. *sigh*

03 augusti, 2011

01 augusti, 2011

You fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses,
come fill me again.

Come let me love you,

let me give my life to you
let me drown in your laughter,
let me die in your arms
let me lay down beside you,
let me always be with you
come let me love you,
come love me again.

(instrumental)


You fill up my senses

like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses,
come fill me again.



John Denver – Annie's Song