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La Frog

19 augusti, 2009

blue? - No, it feels more like a dark grayish black

I'm currently in a really bad state of mind. At 22:00 this evening I had not left the apartment in about 42 hours. I nearly forced my self to go over to my sweet neighbor after that. Just so I wouldn't get in that apathetic state again. I have been this way for a few weeks now. Since I lost Bilbo I guess. It's easier when Jonas is at home. But since Monday he's been working and will not come home until tomorrow evening, so I have been all alone with my sorrow and thoughts. And that is really not good for someone who's already diagnosed with depressions and panic attacks. The only thing that helps me to "not think" is to read. So I read. And I read and I read. Soon I will have nothing unread to read in my little library. I'm thinking of perhaps trying to spend a little part of my monthly salary on the first book in the Twilight series. I could get a few more if I wanted them in pocket. But since I know that I will probably read them a few times it's better to buy them with a hard cover. Not a bound one though, the bounding paper alway gets so scratched in the end.

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