La Frog

31 augusti, 2009

Happy birthday, Jessica!

Christmas eve in the year 2000. Jessica is on the left side and I am on the right.


I think that I'm going to run a bath for me. A nice worm bubbly bath, with those new bathlamps that Jonas got for me.

P.S. The picture is (unfortunately) not of my bathroom.

30 augusti, 2009


Perhaps it's time to start the day. The clock shows 14.04 so I assume I really should get up from my comfortable sofa and do something - anything. Jonas want to go for a walk (?! - *help*), and I want to go back to bed and pull the cover over me again. *Sigh* I guess he wins this time...

29 augusti, 2009

A some what better day

It's been a some what better day today. Hopefully tomorrow will be a not as gloomy day to.

Time to eat

Will soon be on our way to Restaurant Silvis. Nice to get away a bit from this gloomy daily life. Oh, the doorbell - I bet it's a Knutte who wants to com in and rub some black fur into my red sofa. ;)

28 augusti, 2009

A doleful blog

I just realized that my blog is getting more and more doleful. OK, I'm just writing what I am feeling - and my feelings aren't that cheerful right now. It's good to wright about it, but I can see that perhaps it's not to fun for others to read it. So I want to apologize to my readers for this. And I hope you bear with me. Hopefully it will get lighter soon!

22 augusti, 2009

I miss him so much!

I went in to visit akitagå, and Bilbo is still up for adoption. Two of the other dogs that came up on the web at the same time as my baby, had been adopted now. Doesn't anybody want my little baby? He's probably wondering what he did wrong. Why he can't come home to me. Why I left him there.
It hurts so bad! My hart is aching and my eyes are hardly ever dry. I know that I did the right thing for both him and me. But it still hurts!

21 augusti, 2009

To ruin a life you get a smack on the hand...

Apparently women who's been abused in there childhood have a very high vulnerability which results in a very low tolerant to stress. According to a published study (Heim et al. 2002). (Men who has been abused is not mentioned for some reason?)
In my words: one more reason for a harder punishment for pedophiles!
Todays most common punishment in Sweden are about 3 years in prison. For ruining not only a childhood, but also their adult life.
Where is the justice in that?

19 augusti, 2009

Socially Numb

I need Jonas to come home. It feels like I'm drifting closer to a black hole for every hour that he's gone. I need him to take my hand and steer me into the right direction. He does that you know. Just by being there.
13 hours left...

blue? - No, it feels more like a dark grayish black

I'm currently in a really bad state of mind. At 22:00 this evening I had not left the apartment in about 42 hours. I nearly forced my self to go over to my sweet neighbor after that. Just so I wouldn't get in that apathetic state again. I have been this way for a few weeks now. Since I lost Bilbo I guess. It's easier when Jonas is at home. But since Monday he's been working and will not come home until tomorrow evening, so I have been all alone with my sorrow and thoughts. And that is really not good for someone who's already diagnosed with depressions and panic attacks. The only thing that helps me to "not think" is to read. So I read. And I read and I read. Soon I will have nothing unread to read in my little library. I'm thinking of perhaps trying to spend a little part of my monthly salary on the first book in the Twilight series. I could get a few more if I wanted them in pocket. But since I know that I will probably read them a few times it's better to buy them with a hard cover. Not a bound one though, the bounding paper alway gets so scratched in the end.

14 augusti, 2009

Min älskade lilla pälsboll

För ett par veckor sedan tog jag det riktigt jobbiga beslutet att omplacera min älskade Bilbo. Det är för hans bästa. Han behöver någon som klarar av att ha mer pli på honom. Men det är ju min älskling! Jag har matat honom, uppfostrat honom och plockat upp hans bajs i små lila bajspåsar sedan han var 8 veckor gammal. Jag har suttit med honom hos veterinärerna under urinvägs infektioner, tassproblem, kastrering, vaccinationer m.m. Det har vart ett par fruktansvärt jobbiga veckor utan min lilla pälsboll. Och idag var jag inne på Akitagårdens hemsida (de som tillfälligt tagit hand om honom för att hitta ett nytt hem) och nu finns han med bland deras omplaceringshundar. Det var riktigt tufft att se. Visst såg han ut att må bra, men ändå... Det känns så fruktansvärt! Jag vill bara lyfta upp honom och gosa in mig i hans mjuka doftiga päls.

Jag älskar dig min Bilbo!